If you’ve been confused about what constitutes a destructive relationship I hope you’ve gotten clear descriptions, felt heard and encouraged, and received some fresh ways of thinking about what you can do to grow and heal.

If you’re a people helper or curious bystander, I trust you now understand that God has some critical things to say about the way we treat people and his plan to heal destructive relationships.

However, in 30 plus years of working with hundreds of women and men, couples and families in destructive relationships, I know that it takes more than mere informational truth to really heal:

 

• You need transformational truth specific to ONLY women.
• You also need some specific tools to take what you’re learning so you can apply them to your particular situation.  

But no one can do this all alone. You need other supportive women who know what your life is like to walk along beside you.

• You don’t need people who question the validity of your story, or clobber you with Bible verses that God hates divorce or to turn the other cheek one more time.
• You do need people who are caring and compassionate. People who are strong and wise enough to know the whole counsel of God and who will give you a little nudge now and then so you don’t get stuck in your anger or pain so that you keep moving forward.

To create the shifts and transformations you’re looking for, it’s best to receive this help in small bites. I bet like me, you are on information overload these days. When you learn too much information too fast, you will often find yourself paralyzed and unable to take specific action because you feel overwhelmed.

 

If you want to stop dancing the destructive dance, you will need to take some steps in a new direction and I find most people need extra help learning to walk those steps out.

 

As a woman for example you need specific words and phrases to say when you need to speak up for yourself. You need to learn how to set good boundaries, and get specific strategies in implementing appropriate consequences as well as know when and how to put them in place.

 

You need help understanding what you are responsible for and what you are not responsible for and how to communicate with people in clear, firm, yet loving ways. You also need to know how to form more mutual relationships. Or, how to stop overfunctioning or underfunctioning.

 

How to be less dependent and to develop the strength to say No when you need to without cowering under the fear that someone might be disappointed or angry with you.

 

I also know that everyone who needs extra help can’t always afford personal one on one coaching. But I would still love the opportunity to continue our work together. Therefore I want to let you know about a new growth and support group.

 

CONQUER - a women's only group - will give you just the continued small bite learning environment I talked about. In addition you will be a part of an on-going support group with other individuals who know what your life is like, plus you’ll have regular contact with me, which will help you achieve your growth and healing goals – all for less than a Starbucks a day. Sound amazing?! It is, and I’m very excited about it.  

CONQUER is an opportunity for you and I to regularly connect through video, through a private support group and by telephone each month so that you can gain clarity, confidence, courage, as well as some tools in moving beyond stuck and into freedom.  

This program comes from the verse in the Bible that says, “In all these things (hardships of life) we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:27) That’s what it says, but we don't’ always feel like that do we? Instead we often feel conquered by life and by other people.

CONQUER was created to help you conquer your own inner demons of fear, shame, and insecurity. It will teach you how to identify and conquer the habits and behaviors that keep you stuck, the negative emotions like bitterness and resentment you need to shake, and the chronic relationships issues that repeat themselves over and over and over again.  

CONQUER will help you get out of your own way in places that seems to big, too hard, or too overwhelming to tackle all by yourself.

This group will teach you how to CONQUER that big elephant in your life, one bite at a time.  
 

Before Conquer, I was becoming physically sick from many years in a destructive marriage. I had been badly manipulated for many years and was living in a cloud of confusion and false guilt under the guise of being a "good submissive wife". After a year of Conquer, I'm proud to say that I'm a brand new healthy and confident woman.  I went from being a marriage centered woman to being a God centered woman. Now, I know I am capable of making good Godly decisions on my own. I have a full time job, and I'm flourishing as a mom like never before. There is no doubt that Leslie & the Conquer group's care and love have sped up my healing and growth tremendously. The impact of conquer is life altering positive change for me, my children, and generations to come!"  

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"This group has been a blessing from God at the worst time of my life. The support has been phenomenal from women who truly understand what you're going through. The fact that Leslie even responds to facebook posts is amazing. The monthly calls have been a tremendous help to me and now there is a second call. These phone calls are truly a wonderful counseling session. I am helped so much by Leslie's answers to each woman's question as it always seems to apply to my life too. I am so grateful Leslie makes sure she answers everyone even though the call lasts longer than planned. I feel that Leslie's wisdom, compassion, and Christian heart is displayed on each phone call. I am thankful she has made all of this available no matter where you live. - Wanda"

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"Oh my goodness – CONQUER is so encouraging! It is absolutely just what I needed! I hear condemnation all the time from my husband and it used to keep me stuck in the trying harder cycle which did not lead to victory. Now I will focus on that victory circle. Thank you for CONQUER! - Pamela"

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"I have grown so much in the the 9 months since joining Conquer. Learning better how to communicate with my destructive spouse, living in reality and accepting reality, and making difficult decisions based on guidance from the Holy Spirit are just to name a few. The length of the videos and handouts are perfect. They don't take too long and I find myself going back to them when my fears change or when I may be feeling shame and condemnation again. The phone calls are helpful, even when I just listen to the recording. I find value in hearing Leslie's advice to someone else in the same situation as me.  I love the Facebook page. It is filled with supportive women all in different places in their life. All just trying to honor God and provide love and constructive feedback. I have a wonderful counselor now but this group has done more for me than even one on one counseling. Thanks so much for all that you do!"